Chapter Fifty-Six: For Better For Worse

He slammed the cool down button on the treadmill as he slowed to a gentle jog. Six hard miles had cleared his head but not his torment. As well as a niggle in his hamstring he came off the treadmill with a heavy heart. He scrolled through his messages on his phone and flopped down on the couch in his bedroom. What was he going to do about Devon? He kept a picture on his camera roll in his phone of her. Lying staring at him in a time where they were happy.

Her blue eyes sparkled as much as her smile and the small dimples in her cheek made his toes tingle. All that soft blond hair was curled down and around her neck. His fingers curled at the memory of them tangled through her hair as he kissed her, her sweet lips that tasted like candy and her seductive sweet scent. God, he missed her. He wasn’t prepared for the void and ache that he felt not being able to touch her, smell her and make love to her.

He draped the towel over his head, wiped the sweat away and reached for his water bottle. It killed him that he didn’t know what to do. He always knew what to do. Whether it was Richie and his marriages or drinking he always had an answer or a game plan for his next move.

He needed to talk to his lawyer if he was anything serious about sticking with Devon. It had consequences for those around him that he didn’t know if he was prepared to risk. Richie had called off today’s writing session as he had flown Ava into town to do some daddy/daughter shopping. Normally Jon wouldn’t have allowed for unscheduled breaks into writing but today he welcomed it. He needed to clear his head.

Maybe distance from the city would do him good so he decided to drive himself down to Jersey. He barely drove these days so it’d be nice to take one of the muscle cars out of his basement for a spin down to Redbank. He called his lawyer and left a message and then headed out of the city.

By lunchtime he’d reached Redbank, the familiarity of the quaint small town was welcoming. He was just one of the guys here and he just needed that right now. He rubbed his tummy as he pulled into a park and decided to hit up the Broadway diner for some pancakes and coffee. Screw the no-carb rule. He was beside himself.

The waitress smiled as he slid into a back booth and waited. Redbank was always a nice place to relax. People knew who he was but hardly anyone bothered him. It was why him and Dorothea decided to settle here with the kids. Far enough away to be private but also still only an hour’s drive from New York City.

“Got room for one more in there?”

Jon grinned when he looked up as Bruce slid in opposite him. “Hey Stranger. How’s it going man?” They both slapped a handshake and Jon leaned back sinking into the booth.

“Good Jonny B, I saw you pull in from across the streets. I was at Jacks’ catching up and thought now seems like a good as time as any for some breakfast.”

“I hear ya.” They nodded to the waitress as she poured them both coffee.

“So, what you doing down this way? Got the kids?”

Jon reached for the creamer and sugar. Another sin he was committing but he didn’t give a fuck. “Nope, just thought I needed a drive down here. I might pop round and see them after though.”

“Oh? Just come to mix in with the locals huh?

“Something like that.”

Bruce eyed him and then went back to his menu. “Woman trouble?”

Jon snickered before the waitress came back and they both ordered. “Yup. How did you guess?”

“I could spin you some bullshit how I’m psychic but Patti told me you and Devon were in some kind of trouble.”

Jon looked up. “Patti knows? And trouble--that’s putting it lightly. She didn’t tell you what Devon did?”

Bruce shrugged. “She needed someone. Patti and Devon seem to gel well. And no, she didn’t tell me what she did.”

Jon sighed. “Well that’s very loyal to Devon. But you might as well know. Devon stole a lot of money and fled her own country.”

Bruce clasped his hands around his coffee. “Wow. She--well she’s sweet she just doesn’t seem like that.”

“Tell me about it.” Jon grumbled as he sipped the creamy sweet coffee as he wrangled with the notion once more in his head.

“I take it you haven’t taken it well.” Bruce held his hand up. “Not that I blame you but I’m just asking.”

“It’s a mess. I honestly don’t know what to do. She lied to me.”

Bruce paused and the aged lines in his face relaxed. “Yes, but she didn’t really have a choice to do that. Did she?”

“No, but she had choices earlier.”

“So what’s your gut saying?”

Jon shrugged. Hell, he knew what it was but didn’t know how to even make it happen. “To stand by her and sort it out but, Jesus how? Can you imagine how the press will react to this? For my family? The boyfriend she did this with went to prison so what if he wants to exact revenge on her? God.” Jon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

“That’s a lot of information.” Bruce added.

“She’s sorry. She’s devastated and I hate seeing her so upset. I love her - god dammit I love her but how am I supposed to live with this--I mean how do we live with this?” He slapped his hand hard down on the table.

Bruce took a sip of his coffee. “We’ve been in this business a long time now Jonny B. Some of our colleagues have crashed and burned in the limelight and had their personal life splashed across papers. This might be different but it would blow over. And it wouldn’t damage your rep not in the long term. It’s not like you knew about her either.”

Jon raked his hand through his hair. “It still wouldn’t be pretty and I’m gonna be selfish and think about the album coming up.” He didn’t want to be selfish and of course Devon’s livelihood meant more to him than that, there was no question but he had to see the bigger picture here. It’s what he did.

“You haven’t even cut the record, it’ll be blown over by then.” Bruce interjected.

Jon balled his hand into a fist. “Why is this so fucking hard? I love her, I just want things sorted out but how can they be, what if she ends up in jail? I don’t know how I could take that.”

“Take it how? The way it would damage you?” Bruce asked as he folded his arms.

Jon swallowed the anger and sadness in his throat and whispered. “No, what it would do to her. I’m scared it would ruin her and break her. I don’t know if I can watch that. It would break my heart.”

Bruce nodded. “Don’t you think she’d survive any of what she might have to do better if you were there for her?”

“I don’t know if I can be, she’d get jailed in New Zealand? How would that even work?” No matter how he looked at this, it was like a fucking maze, every way out of this he kept slamming into dead ends. There had to be a way out of this that satisfied everyone.

“Or do I take the risk and not have her turn herself in?” He asked honestly. “Then I get what I want and she gets to live normally.”

“What does she want to do?”

“She wants to make it right. It’s been killing her. I always knew she had something in her past that haunted her and weighed on her like a stack of bricks I just never expected it to be this.”

“You love her right? I’ve seen you with her Jonny B. Gotta say you’re a nicer guy with her.”

Jon chuckled. “Gee thanks Boss.” He knew Bruce meant it as a compliment. And it was true Devon seemed to even him out, make him see the lighter more romantic side of life. A side of him that had been dead and buried since the divorce.

“And you want to lose that?” Bruce signalled to the waitress for more coffee.

“No-well of course not.”

“Jonny. Let me ask you one thing. What is it you write about?” Bruce asked simply as their meals arrived.

Jon frowned and picked up his fork as his stack of pancakes arrived. “Life. Love... anything goes really. Why?”

“Right. Maybe it’s time to start believing in what you’re preaching.”

“What?” Jon snapped defensively.

“Well c’mon think about your songs. Do you believe in the words you’re writing? Because it doesn’t look like it, not from where I’m standing.”

Jon dropped his eyes to the table. “Well that’s a bit harsh.”

“But it’s the truth. Now I know you’re a good guy-“

“This is different, she committed a crime Bruce.” He hissed aware their voices were starting to rise in the quiet diner. That’d be the last thing he needed.

“If you love her and stood by her, the media will see that and you’ll fit your image you project now. You give people a second chance and you help them rebuild their lives.”

“Their house-“ Jon corrected.

“House, life. No different Jon. You need to realize it’s who you are. You won’t give up on her, it’s not in your blood and the sooner you realize it and pull your head in. You’ll be better off.”

Jon closed his eyes and covered his face in his hands. Bruce was right. Fuck, he was so right. He was an advocate that people could change and redeem themselves. Hell he talked about it, he helped people build their own homes that deserved a chance to start over. People that had colourful pasts, people that wanted to change. People that no one else would give a second chance. And now it was hitting home.

He wrote songs on hope, songs about change and the having the guts to stand up and make that change. Who was he if he couldn’t even support someone in his life that was trying to do just that? She wasn’t a criminal now, she was a sweet, fun loving confident sassy girl. She was his Devon and he was a fool to think otherwise. The past is what made them. If she’d never done what she did, he’d have never met her. Would he really have wanted that?

The way Bruce held the stare was like the way his father used to. He knew he was right. “Aw fuck. I didn’t even think of it like that.”

Bruce relaxed and then cut into his eggs. “It’s about time you started.”

Jon glugged back his coffee. “I’ve been a complete idiot about this. She still lied to me though.”

Bruce nodded. “She still lied but I bet she wished she hadn’t, right?”

“Yes, she’s devastated. She said she never expected it to get this hard, because she fell in love with me.”

“Damn these are some good eggs.” He cut into them and then pointed his fork at him. “So, what are you gonna do?”

He was damned if he did and damned if he don’t. If he didn’t support her he’d hate himself for the rest of his life and wouldn't be able to stand not knowing how she was and if he did it was likely there would be a world of pain coming. What Jon had to do though and what he hadn’t done was put his love on the line for her. It was after all what love was about right?

“I’ve been an asshole.” He mumbled again as he carved into his pancakes.

“Asshole is probably too harsh, dick-yes. You were in shock and I doubt Devon will blame you for that. But you can fix it so easily. Christ Jon, you’ve got money and you’ve got power. I know you use it for the good of the community but it’s about time you used it for the good of yourself, and the one you love.”

“You’re a wise old man huh?” Jon asked with a smile.

“Who are you callin old? I still play longer shows than you.”

“Oh, ouch!” Jon laughed and relaxed his shoulders. The weight wasn’t as heavy anymore as he knew what he had to do. It wasn’t over by far but it was a step in the right direction. He just had to prove it to her. He had no clue where to start to try and make things right for her and for them so they could live their lives as normal people but he would try something, somehow. He owed it to her to at least try. He loved her for fuck’s sake and you didn’t just walk away from the person you loved. He of all people should have understood that.