Chapter Fifty-Five: Checkmate

Jon stood, refilled his glass and paced around the couch. She had an uneasy feeling about this but she knew it was the right thing to do. “So how in the world did you get talked into robbing a bank?”

Devon shrugged. “I was so past caring about what my life and what I was doing. Jared had me under his spell but I’m not saying that I was innocent as I chose to go there.” He had been dangerous and exciting and they really had found love in a hopeless place.

“And you thought you’d both run free, over here and just live happily ever after?” He asked tipping back the rest of his wine into his mouth. It had to be hard for someone like Jon to understand the rationale behind why did what she did.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She’d fallen hopelessly in love with a man that lavished her with attention and time and she’d been foolish enough to think it was real and that it was right. He’d controlled her from day one and she knew it.

When her parents met Jared the impression he’d left them was favourable but as time had gone on, Devon’s time had been monopolised by him and she had ended up seeing less and less of them. Jared had convinced her that her father was trying to control her life when in hindsight it was Jared that was doing the controlling; her father was just trying to help her but she didn’t want to listen.

She’d never been a bad girl through her teens and being a policeman’s daughter made that She had studied diligently and graduated from University like a good girl until he’d come along. Jared was exciting, dangerous and reckless. And as much as a cliche as it was, she had craved it right from when they’d first met. Every girl always loved the idea of a bad boy but the reality of it was something far different and far less sexy.

“We did. We made plans that we would end up in the Bahamas or somewhere like that.” She added. Sipping cocktails on sunloungers and not having a care in the world. Just like on the movies.

He perched himself on the edge of the couch. “What was it even like robbing a bank?”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Terrifying. I knew the minute I walked into the bank with him I’d done the wrong thing. The worst part was that morning my father had called and left me a message as we’d barely spoken in a couple of months.” She lowered her eyes as her heart pounded. “He wanted to make things right, even though he knew it was me in the wrong he was willing to work it out. And of course I didn’t call him back.” She wiped away a lone tear. “I wished I’d have called him back and told him. This probably never would have happened if I hadn’t.”

Jon slid in opposite of her on the couch again but with distance. “You wanted to walk away?”

She nodded. “Of course I did. I wished for it everyday but I’d dug myself in a hole that was so deep. Jared had originally wanted me to steal the money from my parents.”

“Wow-and they had that much to steal?”

“Dad kept a pretty sum in the bank but I couldn’t do it. I knew it would break their hearts-even more than I already did in the end.”

“So you robbed a bank instead?”

“That was the choice Jared gave me. I don’t know if a part of me didn’t believe that he’d go through with it but when he bought home the guns, I knew it was it was serious.”

“Fuck, you had a gun?”

“Yep. We didn’t use them, only to threaten.”

Jon covered his face and she could see the shock had set in. “I can’t imagine you carrying a gun - and were you prepared to use it?”

“I don’t know if I could have. I shook the entire time we were in there. Jared made me point the gun at the teller - he did the rest. I’ll never forget the look in their eyes as long as I live.” The nausea rolled in her stomach just like it did on the day. It was certianly not her proudest moment.

“God. Devon, I just don’t know what to say. What happened after the robbery?”

“Jared was caught, we split up to minimise any searches for a couple on police scanners but he was caught before we met up. I’m pretty sure my father knew exactly who it was and where to find him.”

“Were you concealed?”

“We wore ski masks, yes.”

“How did they not track you-even with a different name surely you’d be tracked through the airport?”

“Jared knew people that my father knew were crims. The passports we got were doctored with regular travellers footprints so it would have taken a bit of time until they had worked out it was us. Being that it was just me in the end, it would have taken longer. I always thought my father could have had access to people over here if he wished. I just assume that he didn’t want to find me. It would be too much of an embarrassment for him.”

Jon rubbed his chin. “I would have thought too much of an embarrassment that he couldn’t find his daughter more.”

She stared at the ground. She always did wonder why her father never found her but could almost guarantee that he wanted nothing to do with her. She wished she could pay all the money back and reverse everything but it was too late and she’d realized that years ago.

Jon chuckled wrly. “Fuck. So you worked down south?”

Devon nodded. “For a wonderful lady that had a farm just outside Louisiana. It was easy to blend in down there as I figured if anyone was looking for me, they’d be looking in main centres to begin with. Her name was Essie and her husband had died the year before so she needed help. She was so kind and she knew I was running but she never asked why or what.”

“Honestly, I don’t know how you weren’t robbed living like that.”

“I know, I always had my wots about me. I did pretty well if that’s what you could call it. It was Essie that made me get back in touch with who I was. I was trained in beauty but with Jared I’d left that dream all behind but while I was working with her I started to use my skills and it just got bigger. I was doing hair and make up for all her friends.”

“So, you rode it out a bit and then decided enough time had passed to try and get into the city?”

“Yes. I was lucky. This space had just come free when I came into the city and I had to do a whole lot of convincing to the landlord for it as well.”

“Not-”

“God-no!” She couldn’t even be angry with him for thinking it with all the revelations he’d heard so far. “I never did that. Ever.”

He reached for the bottle and topped both of their glasses up. “Devon.”

“Yes?”

“What do you want to do now?”

He asked a loaded question. “I don’t know. I know it can’t be the same, what we had and how. Now that you know this.”

He leaned back and tipped his head back. “Ok, even if I wanted it to - how can it? What if the past does catch up with you? What if we’re getting married and you get caught and then I lose you for good. Not to mention the press, I’m not saying that’s more important but in reality it is. I can’t risk that to my brand, my band it’s not fair on the other guys and I can’t risk it to my family. What if Jared comes to find you and you were with my children? I know he can’t get into the country but hell, he’s planned to evade the law before and it worked out fine for you.”

Lose you for good.

So he was worried about that? But he did make valid point as he had a lot more to lose than she did evidently. “I know.” She said softly. “I don’t know how to fix this. I mean, I want to.”

“Is giving yourself up an option?”

She squirmed on the couch and heart beat heavy in her chest. It was always an option but she was scared. She’d lose everything - her clinic and her people would lose their jobs. She’d lose Jon and she’d lose the right to live in America. It took the breath out of her lungs and her head felt light.

“I’ve thought about it so many times over the years. And back then I didn’t have as much as I have to lose now.” That was if she even had Jon at this point. He was listening but he hadn’t given her much response apart from questions and she didn’t blame him for that.

She could call her Dad. She’d doubt he would want to hear from her and he could turn her in instantly. But at least she could ask him what she was up against and what penalties she would likely have to pay. She could give most of the money back but what would the jail time be like? How many years would she lose of her life? All because she made one very stupid mistake. It was a mistake and it didn’t make it ok again now that she acknowledged that.

It was a double edged sword. If she hadn’t of done what she’d done, she wouldn’t have grown like she had and she wouldn’t have met the man that made everything else worth it in the end.

“Oh God. I must be fucking crazy but how about I call a lawyer friend of mine to ask what theoretically you are up against?” He clicked his knuckle. “I can ask him in confidence. I’ve confided in him before.”

Her heart swelled. “You don’t have to do that, I do want to fix this Jon. I do. I just don’t know how to, after all this time. If it is even fixable.”

“The way I see it is you have two options. You turn yourself into the authorities to clear you name-whatever that may take. Or you carry on like you were and hope it all works out.”

She picked at the fabric on the arm of couch. “I can’t carry on-you said it yourself. Nothing would be the same. You don’t trust me.”

He rolled his lips in and paused. “I never said I didn’t trust you. And look I can see you’ve made a mistake and you regret it. I know you’re not that person, deep down I know you’re not.”

“You do? Because I’m definitely not. This is who I am. Just without the being a runaway criminal part.”

He half- smiled and it hit her in the stomach, the slight relief from this intensity between them was enough to give her a flicker of hope. For what though, she didn’t know.

“I know it’s not Devon. I know you’re the women I fell in love with, for real.”

There was one thing on her mind and one thing only at this point and it wasn’t even about the jail term and losing everything. It was about losing him. The problem was this was a checkmate, the next move was going to lose something but she just wasn’t sure what that was and how bad it really would get. But one thing was real. And that was this moment. Could they as a couple actually get past it? The press would find out either way they played it from this point. If she turned herself in, maybe they could restrict it but what right did she truly have of that? It wasn’t like she was innocent.

“So now you know what happened. Do you think we can actually get past this? Honestly?” She didn’t want to know the answer. She had no idea how she’d take his rejection at this point. Yes he loved her but what choice did he have? He had things to think about as well that this impacted greatly.

“I want to Devon. God.” He raked his hand through his hair. She hated how much weight this was having on him. Her heart sank and while it wasn’t a declaration of commitment it was better than a straight out rejection. She couldn’t blame him for his caution and his uncertainty whether he wanted to fight for her. But she couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed. She wished that the determined Jon that wouldn’t let her say no for an answer to a date with him, showed up until she gave in was here now.

“Ok. Well I should go-” She rose from the couch and bit back the tears that threatened to spill over. She didn’t want to beg him, he didn’t deserve her to after she’d lied to him.

“Devon-Stay a little longer.” He reached out his hand but didn’t get up.

She shook her head and grabbed her purse. “I think it’s best if I go.” She wanted him to hold her, she wanted him to sooth her and give her the strength to fight through this. It was going to break her in two and she didn’t know what the future would hold for her and she didn’t know what the future held for them either.

“I get it. I know you can’t commit to this and honestly I don’t blame you Jon. I’m grateful you’re even here now, I am.” She stuttered couldn’t look at him she just had to get out of there and fall apart in the safety of her own apartment. Not here. Not with him.

“Devon-wait!”

As she flew out of the lobby into Soho’s bustling streets she started to doubt whether this could be repairable. She may have been determined to fight but what if this couldn’t be fixed? Hell Jon certainly wasn’t convinced. She was so stupid. Not stupid to tell him but stupid enough to not realize this was always going to be messy no matter which way she looked at it.