Chapter Sixty: Daddy's Girl

She sat cross-legged on the patio, her legs peeking out under the tails of one of his shirts. She was up before him watching the sunrise across Manhattan with a cup of coffee and bagels that she prepared. Sunrises were so simplistic but beautiful and easy to take for granted. She couldn’t imagine not seeing the clusters of buildings that shaped Manhattan but it was one reality she may have to be prepared for.

Jon had lawyers but what good would lawyers do in a case like this? Unless they were crooked and could twist the story somehow and she knew she didn’t want that. The whole thing kept coming back to one thing...her father. She knew if she had any hope in surviving this she would have to contact him and find out realistically what she’d be in for. He knew New Zealand Law and Statute of Limitations like the back of his hand.

But what would she even say? And then there was no going back for real. She’d start something she couldn’t back out of.

“Morning beautiful.” She looked up and Jon had stepped out onto the deck in a pair of low navy riding pyjama pants and lit a cigarette.

“Hey you.”

“Now I know why you’re up so early. That sunrise is a killer.”

She sighed and took in his profile against the morning. “Isn’t it? I made coffee and bagels. It’s the best you’re gonna get.”

“I am starving.”

“I’ll get one for you then shall I, while have your post-coital cig.”

He snorted. “Hey-it’s a compliment.”

The night had been nothing short of amazing and they had reconnected and she was relieved. Something inside her had been worried that they wouldn’t and that this thing would become a bigger thing between them. And the reality was it still could.

She smeared a bagel half with cream cheese and poured him a cup of coffee. “You slept well?”

He leaned back against the railing and faced her stretching out his arms. “I did. Like a baby, you?”

She shrugged. “Not really if I’m honest but I felt safe with you.” She doubted she would ever be able to sleep properly until this was over but just being near him was strength in itself.

“I think I need to ring my father Jon.” She blurted it all out and dropped the knife on the table.

He took one more drag and flicked his ash over the balcony. “How do you feel about that?” He sat down opposite her and picked up the bagel half and took a bite. His hair was still mussed from sleep and the five o’clock shadow crept up his neck.

“Petrified. I miss him so much but I’m not sure he’s going to be happy to hear from me.” Her belly was like squirmy liquid. She’d rather have been able to walk up to him and tell him she was sorry than to do it over a phone. The time factor was another thing, she had waited so long to call him she doubted he’d wanna know her.

“I think it’s a right first step. We can deal with the rest as it comes.”

She nodded and cupped her coffee mug. “I know he’s going to be angry with me but I deserve it.”

“I don’t think you deserve it Dev, but you know why he’s going to be angry and he has that right. You're still his daughter.”

“If Steph did this to you, what would you do when she rang you years later? Honestly?”

“Whew. Well I don’t know how I’d feel. I’d be hurt. She’s my daughter and she would have done a very stupid thing but then if I listened.” He chuckled. “And that would probably take me awhile. I’d realize she’s changed and she’s truly sorry for what happened.”

“The problem is - and I am but things are so different now they can never be the same unless-”
She drew in her breath.

“Unless you’re accountable for your crime?” Jon asked.

“Yeah something like that.”

“Hey.” He reached out his hand onto her arm. “Maybe there is a way around this. I’ll help you any way I can. Even if it means helping you financially. I’ll pay your bail if it comes to that.”

“You would?” She asked astounded.

“Of course. I’m hoping your father knows a way we can settle this discreetly out of a courtroom though.”

“Because of the media attention it would draw?”

“Somewhat, yes. If I’m honest.”

“I get it and that's natural I don’t want to be dragged through the courts as well but that’s the problem isn’t it. I don't know what I am dealing with until I ring him.” The last thing she wanted for Jon was to drag his name through any of this and he wasn't being selfish he had a career and a family that relied heavily on his good name. His kids especially didn’t deserve to be dragged into this mess either.

His finger brushed over her wrist. “I’m going to be here. We’ll sort something out and we’ll get married and live happily ever after once it’s over--if that's what you want.” He quickly added.

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “What? I mean-” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I mean don’t-just not yet. I need to know this is over before I could even consider that and I don’t want you to think you have to.”

“I don’t. It’s the next natural progression isn't it. If we can get through this-we can get through anything, right?”

“You really think that?” She wasn’t surprised more humbled that is how he was still thinking even after what she’d done. He still wanted to marry her.

“I do.” He smiled.

“Ok, but just do me a favour.”

“Oh?”

“This sounds crazy but the proposal is the most important part. I want to be floored, I want it to be unexpected. Not in the middle of all this, when it’s over and when we come out on the other side.” If we come out on the other side.

“You want the romantic grand gesture huh?” He asked with a wicked grin.

“I do-I know that sounds silly but after all I’ve managed to screw up I kind of still believe in that part of romance. But when it counts and when it's real.”

He nodded and brought his coffee to his lips. “Got it. I can do that.”

She smiled and while her heart swelled it sank at the same time. She couldn’t see them on the other side of this together, she hoped like mad she was wrong but it just seemed too good to be true at this point.

“So, your father? You going to call him today?”

“God, yes. I feel sick just thinking about it but I have to do it.”

“Did you want me there?” Jon asked.

She shook her head. “Thank you but no. I think I need to talk to him alone, that’s if he’ll talk to me.”

“He will. No father can stay mad at his daughter forever. Trust me.”

~

It was later that morning she sat upstairs in her loft with her phone resting in her lap. She’d been there almost thirty minutes. She knew she had to do it soon as she had another client in thirty minutes. That is how confident that this conversation would be a short one.

Her throat was dry and her heart pounded with dread. The snakes in her belly coiled tight as she lifted the receiver and dialled her home. What if they had moved? Their father’s number had always been unlisted for his job and it wouldn’t be easy to find by herself. The last thing she wanted was to tell more people who she was in order to get it.

It rang once, twice, three times and her head spun with anticipation.

“Hello?”

Her father’s voice sucker punched her right in the chest. It was still the same. Confident no-nonsense like it always was. Her lungs squeezed tight and she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t say a word.

“Hello? Anyone there?”

Tears swelled to her eyes as the guilt and pain all flooded back to her.

“Daddy?”

The line fell silent and the seconds felt like hours, no lifetimes.

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, who did you want?”

“Dad, it’s Devon.”

The sharp intake of breath down the line followed by a cluttered noise confused her. She heard a door click shut and then he spoke.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

God. Had he really forgotten what her voice sounded like? “No Dad, its Devon.” She swallowed hard. “Your runaway daughter.”

The sound she heard next she doubted she’d never forget for as long as she lived. The short sob down the line resounded through her like an electrical shock. “Dad?”

“What do you want? Do you need money?” The cop instinct took over just as it did any other time with him and the emotion was gone.

“No. Dad, I’m so sorry.” She blurted it out but she had wanted to say it for the last five years.

“Are you in some kind of trouble?” His answer was more like an accusation. That she was only ringing because she wanted something. Even though it was true it wasn’t anything he could give her.

“No, Dad I’m fine. I’m not in any trouble. I’m in New York.”

The silence was deafening. “I know you are.”

Her heart stopped and she snapped up her head. “You do?” He knew where she was, all this time?

“How-how did you know?”

“I had a suspicion you were in the States but a photo with your boyfriend confirmed it.”

Oh god. He knew she was seeing Jon? “I-I” She stuttered. Why hadn’t anyone come and got her? Arrested her?

“You’re not ripping him off are you?”

The question hurt like a knife in the chest but he had a right to ask it given the history.

“No, god-no. No!”

“I had to ask. And you haven’t had any kind of trouble?”

She frowned. “No.” That was the second time he’d asked it. He must have thought it was the only thing she had rung him for. He knew where she was and who she was dating? She couldn’t believe it but why had he stayed so silent?

“Ok good. I just-never mind.”

The genuine concern laced his voice sliced and she hiccupped as the tears came. “I don’t know what to do. I made a life here but it’s so incomplete with this lie.”

“Oh Devon.”

“Dad. I’m so sorry. I want to fix this but I don’t know how.”

He blew out his breath. “What you did Devon...” he trailed off. The disappointment in his voice was terminal and she couldn’t blame him one bit.

“Unforgivable. I know.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to break this to your Mother Devon. She was pretty devastated when you left. You tore this family apart.”

She needed to hear it but it didn’t make it any easier. “I know, if I could take it back. I want to make something right. I do Dad, god I do.” She bit her lip.

“Listen, I’m in the middle of something at the moment. Is there a way I can reach you? I want to call you on a secure line maybe tomorrow.”

“Sure.” She gave her father the number and waited.

“Don’t call back here Devon, it’s important. I’ll call you.”

“Ok Dad. I won’t. What am I going to do?”

“I don’t know Devon. I don’t even know what to think at the moment. It’s been years. You went years without calling me.” The pain cracked his voice and her Dad never lost his resolve and she was the reason.

She covered her eyes as she sobbed. “I know. I’d give anything to take this back but I can’t. I have no right asking you this, not after what I’ve done. But I need your help Daddy. I’m scared.”

He took a deep breath. “I’ll call you.”

And then the line was dead. Her hand shook as she replaced the receiver. What if he didn’t call back? What if he didn’t want to deal with this? She couldn’t expect him to if he really didn’t want to. It was the first step if there was any hope or way to fix this and she’d done it. She’d taken the responsibility and she just hoped her father knew she meant it.

God she hoped he knew that.