Chapter Forty-Three: Too Much? Too Soon?

As the car pulled out into the countryside from suburbia New Jersey, she sat back in the seat and sighed. She couldn't quite believe she was on her way to Jon’s for the weekend - Jon’s country house that was. She had needed to work to clear the backlog from yesterday’s press explosion so he had insisted on a car to drive her the hour and a half journey down to Red bank.

The windy roads and tree-lined streets came into view and in all honestly again she could have been in rural New Zealand as the country homesteads sprawled out in front of her, each on its own generous block of land. Vibrant green trees and thriving farmlands whizzed by and she couldn’t help but feel nervous. It had been just over three weeks since she had started dating Jon. They had settled into a routine which she knew would be temporary as she was the one with the stable job and stable stationary life. Goodness knows how that could ever work while he was touring with a record. It was thinking ahead but she couldn’t help wonder how that would even play in the mix of things with them.

Her belly was a ball of nerves and she knew over the weekend she would be meeting his kids and it scared her shit-less. She grappled with the fact that they were used to their mother dating someone different so why would this be any different? She wasn’t used to kids nor did she consider herself good at being around them. God. Age wasn’t a big thing between her and Jon but she was a lot younger than him. Maybe they’d see an issue with that?

Relax-it’s just a day. The kids would meet her and it would be just the two of them for the weekend. She could do that. She could do that. She shook her hands and blew her breath out as the car rolled up to high iron that gates that opened once the driver identified himself.

Wow. It wasn’t what she expected. It was grand on any scale but with the polished Sandstone-coloured brick it wasn’t at all pretentious. Understated elegance yes but not pretentious. It reminded her a little of a modern Von-Trapp home from The Sound of Music. She giggled. It shouldn’t but it did. Leafy trees arched down over the driveway against a backdrop of manicured lawns. Smaller buildings were dotted around the property with potted trees lining the main homestead.

She stepped out of the car with her overnight bag and the clean country air hit her. It was cool and laced with a fresh grassy scent that reminded her of home. The crickets chirped against the clear sunny day that could have rivaled any postcard.

The door swung open and Jon strolled out in jeans and a tight red-v neck. “You made it!” He grinned broadly as his arms engulfed her and his mouth fused to hers. The kiss was quick and left the lingering taste of hot coffee on her lips.

“Thanks Callum.” Jon slipped the driver some cash and patted his arm.

“You’re welcome sir. If you need me again please just call.”

“So…” She rolled back on her feet and smiled. “You live in New York City when you have this gorgeous estate? Are you crazy?”

He shrugged. “I know and as I said it’s been really empty since the family moved out. But I can’t bear to give it up either. New York has kept me busy.”

“Well it’s amazing. I want the grand tour.”

He took her bag and led her inside to the foyer which was breath taking. High cream crisp walls with modern steel fittings greeted her. One way led through double doors into a family room which had a distinct Victorian flair with its blue furniture and gold wall length curtains. The room was also scattered with framed pictures of his family over the table tops and across the walls.

“Oh wow.” She picked up the closest frame which had a picture of Jon, Dorothea and the kids. “Beautiful picture.”

Jon leaned over her shoulder and she could hear the smile in his voice. “Yeah, those were happier times. That was taken at the Hamptons. We had another house down there which was much smaller but Dorothea has that now for her holidays.”

“Three houses huh? How very rock-star.”

“Shut up brat.” He nudged her and then wrapped his arm around her middle from behind and kissed the side of her head. “Is it weird I still have those pictures out?”

She smiled. “No, not at all. This is your family and Dorothea is always a part of that. I get that.”

“That’s how I feel about it too so I’m glad you understand. I didn’t want you to feel awkward. This is my children’s family home now and mine. That’s it. What I had with her as far as romantic love is gone."

She turned in his embrace and reached up on her tips toes to kiss him. “I don’t feel like that at all. It might be a bit strange at first but it’s nothing we can’t work on.” The past was the past and she of all people knew that. She didn’t see that anything needed to be weird and awkward now. Like her, Jon wanted to make new memories. His was just in a more familiar place and she was the one who had to try and fit in with his crazy life.

He grinned. “Let me show you around.”

They only made it as far as the giant kitchen. Christ, she could have fit her whole apartment in here with room to spare. The country style kitchen had miles of cupboards with gold fittings. Polished and well preserved wood lined the walls and a counter top ran around almost three walls with an island also in the middle.

“Wine? We need something to drink.”

Devon squealed when two hands lifted her up onto the edge of the island-counter.

He pointed at her from the fridge. “Don’t tell my kids. I never let them sit up there.” He opened the large fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine and a bowl of strawberries.

She swung her legs back. “I get the silver service?”

“Well I’m buttering you up if I’m honest.”

He handed her a glass of wine and held a strawberry out for her to bite into it. She did and then licked her lips. “What on earth for?”

“Well the kids were meant to be coming tomorrow - right?”

“Yes, the day I’m terrified of.” She joked.

He winced. “Well. They’re actually coming soon. Like in an hour and staying over.”

Her eyes widened. “What? Crap! Is that such a great idea?” She had no issues meeting his kids as much as she was terrified of the idea but having them stay with them in the house was something else completely. For them not for her.

“I know it’s a shock and I didn’t want to throw you in the deep end so soon like this. I can get you back into the city if you want. I’d understand.”

As tempting as that was, she shook her head. “I don’t want to go home but won’t it be weird for them, me staying here?”

He set down his glass and wrapped his arms around her so his face was barely inches from hers and rested his forehead against hers. “I spoke to Dorothea about it when she called me to ask if it was ok. She didn’t have a problem with it especially when I told her how I felt about you. And god, the women knows me well enough to know when I’m not lying. So if you’re ok with it...” He trailed off.

She sighed and her pulse quickened. “I am OK with it. I just hope they truly are as I don’t want to upset any of them. It’s a big deal for them. Have you had other women here with them?”

“Nope, you’re the first. Hopefully the last.” He slid his arms down hers and took her hands. “You won’t. Dorothea has been with her Bruce for some time now. My daughter asks me every-time when she sees me if I’ve got a girlfriend so at least this will be one less thing for her to ask me. They know about you already so it’ll be fine. They will love you.”

She eased the frown on her face and nodded. “Ok. We’ll see how it goes. So an hour?”

“That’s right so that is why we need to make the most of it.” He cupped her ass and slid her closed to him and wrapped her legs around his waist.

“What? Here?” She giggled as his lips kissed up her jawline to her ear.

“Why not? We don’t have much time so I need to make the most of you. God, you smell amazing.” His low voice against her ear sent bumps shooting down her arms.

“Keep talking.” She murmured.

He chuckled. “You know how I feel about you. A minute away from you is too long these days.”

“God.” She sighed happily. “I hate that you’re a lyrical genius sometimes. You must have really been able to pick up the ladies in your day.”

He didn’t respond. Instead he slid his hand up her leg and up her thigh. His fingertips skated against the edge of her panties and her breath caught in her throat. His mouth found hers and they shared a long burning kiss that curled her toes. Her eyes closed as she groaned as the feather-light touch of his fingertips danced around her thigh.

“If you can accept my family life and I know you will, would you give some thought to living with me?”

She opened her eyes and pushed him gently back from her. “What?”

“I know it’s crazy, Christ.” He raked his hand through his hair. “We’ve only known each other weeks but I wasted years with the wrong person and I’m not getting any younger.”

“I--god-shit--I mean.” She was speechless. She had been with this man barely weeks and he was asking her something major that she wasn’t sure she was ready for. She could see them together in the future but the future wasn’t yet? Was it? Everything about their relationship so far had been against the rules and time didn’t seem to matter. She highly doubted Jon ever made any quick decisions about any of his previous relationships.

“I know, it’s a lot. Just think about it. I’m not pressuring you but if you want to move in sooner than later I’m offering it to you.”

She stroked his hair and smiled. “It’s a lovely offer Jon and god- I should be out right saying no. We both should but I don’t know why I don’t want to.”

He cupped her wrist and bought it to his lips. “Being back at this house made me realize I’m sick of being alone Devon.”

The vulnerability in his eyes was enough to melt her heart and she believed him and Jon didn’t do vulnerability, at least she had never seen it. The problem was she was exactly the same, she didn’t want to be alone either and the last five years of her life had been just that. She had Jonathan and her family at the salon but that wasn’t what she had been missing. She’d been missing love.

What Jared and her had wasn’t love but it meant being not alone and she realized in hindsight that’s one of the reasons she never left him. Who wants to be alone when you can have someone to adore you? Well, is supposed to adore you. Jared never adored her.

Jon adored her.

“I know. Me too.” It was barely a whisper as her throat was choked by the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

He smiled warmly. “Just think it over. We really could make it work.” He squeezed her hands. “I want to make it work.”

She nodded. “I will. I promise.” Her fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck as she dragged him in for the kiss. His teeth scraped over her lips and chin as she tilted her head back. She closed her eyes and let herself sink into the security of him. By the time he slipped into her she was already one with him as they both rose and she held him tight as she crashed back down with him.

As she laid her head on his shoulder, they both recomposed themselves and knew it was soon going to be time to face the real music. The children. She had Jon’s reassurance but it was still hard not to be nervous. She knew that if it didn’t go smoothly she couldn’t bear being someone the kids didn’t like or resented for any reason.

Time would tell and all too soon.