Why were women complicated? He thumbed the cork out of the wine bottle that he’d hoped he’d be sharing with Devon. But instead he was out on the roof, bare foot with a cigarette and a glass staring at the New York Skyline that towered into the distance.
He didn’t get it. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to. Something was wrong but he didn’t have a fucking clue what it was. Things had been good…no-great between them. He had felt more alive in two weeks than he had in two years without her. He poured another glass and flicked his ash away. His phone sat dead. There was more chance of world peace being declared than her texting him tonight.
He needed to relax and let it go. Had he been too pushy? The whole week had been a see-saw of signals. Luckily they usually swung in favour of him but he’d put the rest down to her nerves.
His phone beeped and he snagged it quickly only to grunt at the message from Richie. Something about coming out again later next week for a writing session.
What the fuck ever.
He tossed the phone down and slugged his wine back. All he cared about tonight was how quickly he could forget the name Devon Scott.
For at least a couple hours.
~
Devon hung her dress in the closet and tightened her robe before slipping into her pink fluffy slippers. She was exhausted but too twisted up to sleep. If she counted how many times she’d picked up her phone to call Jon, it would be embarrassing.
He would only press her now. Ask her what was wrong and beg—no, convince—her to tell him.
That was the problem. Jon was so convincing and trustworthy. She already knew from the the way he carried himself with his band and personal business how much trust and loyalty meant to him. And she loved that about him. Every girl’s dream was to meet a man that loved them so fiercely that they’d protect what was theirs at whatever cost. But those men only existed in romance novels. Or so she thought until Jon Bon Jovi walked into her salon.
She poured herself a glass of wine and sat at the desk by her small box window that looked out into SoHo. God, she’d kill for a glass of New Zealand Sav right now. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening the lid to her laptop. She stared at the screen blankly. Who would she write to? No one. She had no one to write to as no one knew she was here.
The people in her life now were in the salon and Jon. That was it. She’d never been one to have a best friend she could dial up and gossip for hours with, well not since she was a teenager.
How times had changed.
She clicked on a local New Zealand news site and scrolled through the happenings of the day where places and names were still so familiar to her. Soon the autumn would be nipping at summer’s feet as they rolled into the cooler seasons. She missed it. More than she cared to admit but it was her home after all.
Her fingers rested on the keys and trembled as she typed his name. The one name she hadn’t thought about in a very long time and the one reason she’d left.
Jared Coupland.
Did she dare to press enter? And allow the memories to inch back in?
She took a swig of wine and then another as she scrolled down further to a New Zealand page with news from six months ago. The wine burned a path down her throat and to her belly as she read.
Parole Denied for Coupland.
Her chest squeezed tight as her ex-boyfriend downloaded to the screen. Of all the mistakes she’d made in her life, this was by far the worst. Jon couldn't have been more different to him than a bar of soap. God, she’d been stupid.
If Jared had never happened, she wouldn’t have met Jon. She would have never had the opportunity to leave New Zealand and start a new life, even if everything about those circumstances were wrong.
And Jared was still there. Still paying the price.
Their price.
There was another name that she hadn’t dared to type into Google for a very long time and the very thought of it terrified her. The wall of tears she’d held back in the car crumbled as she fingered the keys.
Charlie Mason.
Make that Police Chief Charlie Mason.
“Daddy,” she whispered brokenly as she flicked through the newsletters from the Christchurch websites. The only thing worse than the guilt was the void inside her not having her father to talk and confide in all these years. Would he have been proud at how she’d turned out, despite everything? Would he see what she had learnt from him all these years when he thought she wasn’t paying attention?
The best advice was always the advice from your parents, the one you always rolled your eyes at the time thinking they had no idea what they were talking about. Her father had been right about Jared, he didn’t have her best interests at heart. Only his own. She didn’t blame Jared though, she had made her own choices and she was the one that had chosen how now to live with them.
Southern Police Chief recognized for Twenty-Five years of service. She scrolled through the article and pictures of the event which featured her family. She glugged her wine down to numb the deep ache inside her heart. Her mother looked wonderfully radiant and she’d taught Devon many tricks of the trade she used today in her salon.
She clicked closed her laptop lid. She couldn’t take it any longer. She had to save herself from losing Jon, he was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time and she loved him like crazy.
It was surreal. This kind of whirlwind romance only happened in the movies with Ashton Kutcher or Drew Barrymore. Not her, and the way she’d behaved tonight was appalling. She just didn’t have the strength to fight it tonight.
She crawled into bed and pulled the covers up around her, leaving the lights burning behind her. She needed to clear her head and needed to find the words and the courage to let Jon into her life. In such a way that wouldn’t let everything that she’d dreamed of slip away through her fingers.
~
It wasn’t unusual for Devon to be up before the sun-rose so when she padded down stairs in jeans, ugg boots and a black wrap-around cardigan to her coffee machine she had only one thing on her mind.
Jon.
It had been a restless night but she knew what she had to do. Even if she had to admit to some of her past that she wasn’t particularly proud of. It didn’t take a genius for Devon to know that Jon loved the fun, carefree and sweet Devon that she’d ignored for years now. Ultimately she knew that was who she really was and it had taken him to make her realise that.
She brewed the coffee and snapped two lids on the Grande cups, scrawled Jonathan a note that she would be late and could he open up for her. That was something she’d never done but she trusted Jonathan to do it and she owed Jon as much time as it took to get through to him.
With her pink scarf wound loosely around her neck she ventured out into Mercer Street which was all but deserted apart from the couple of pieces of rubbish that flew past her feet. She’d taken a leap of faith before so she prayed that he would take another one with her now.
That was of course after he killed her for waking him at five-am.
The corners of her mouth twitched as she realized he was going to be grumpy but probably adorable at this time in the morning. He wasn’t a fan. But if she had to wait a minute longer she’d have gone crazy and she needed to go out on a limb for him now.
She let herself into the lobby of Mercer Street and the night guard buzzed Jon’s apartment for her before he’d let her through. She was either going in, or she was going back to her shop with two large cups of coffee to drink and her tail between her legs.
“Go right up ma’m.”
Whew. Relief set in as she stepped into the elevator. It took eternity to reach the top floor but when the doors opened and he was against the entrance way to his apartment with his arms folded. His clothes were crumpled and his hair was a mess.
“Do you know what time it is?” His eyebrow cocked but his face remained flat.
“The best time of the morning.” She forced cheerily as she stepped out into the lobby and let the elevator close behind her.
“Peace offering?” She held out one of the cups to him.
He rubbed the five o’clock shadow on his face and his eyes, still and grey stayed on her. “I didn’t know we were fighting.”
“We’re not, but I owe you an apology. Please. I’d really like to talk to you, I’ve been going crazy all night about this.” She rolled back on her heels and bit on her bottom lip.
His eyes shifted to her pink fluffy ugg-boots and she caught him tying to hide the small smirk on the edge of his lips. “You should come in then.” He took the coffee and stood back to let her in. She caught a whiff of booze and cigarette’s as she walked past him and felt a little bit guilty knowing she was probably the cause of whatever binge he’d gone on last night.
The apartment was dim and the curtains were drawn. A blanket lay rumpled on the couch next to a head-dented cushion. Her courage wavered but she held her ground.
“Can we go outside? I need a smoke.”
“Sure.” Now wasn’t the time to tease him so she followed him out to the wonder-terrace that was more like a mini version of the Empire State Building viewing deck. Or so she imagined if she’d done those tourist attractions.
He lit his cigarette and took a deep drag and leaned back against the railing facing her. “Are you OK?”
She perched herself on the edge of the outdoor dining table and swung her legs gently under them while she took a deep breath of courage. “Not really. I mean I am but I feel like an idiot for how I behaved last night.”
He flicked his ash off the side of the railing. “I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself. It wasn’t exactly a normal situation.”
She shook her head. “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice it. I was awful, especially when we came home.”
He shrugged. “If you mean you left me horny, I got over it.”
God, he was being such a boy. She deserved it but he wasn’t helping the situation. Her stomach already was a ball of butterflies. “That’s not what I mean.” She took a sip of her coffee and sighed.
“I panicked. I just wanted some time to think.”
“Why did you panic Devon? Did I do something?”
“God-no. You did everything right. It’s not everyday people get their own Pretty Woman movie to live.”
He lifted his eyebrow and chuckled. “Right, so what was the problem?”
“I don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry if that makes me one of those needy and pathetic women.”
“You’re definitely not one of them and why on earth would you think you were going to lose me?”
“Because I’m not who you think I am.”
He tipped his coffee to his mouth and his gaze rested out on the skyline. “Oh?”
“I’m not this strong woman you think I am. I’ve done somethings I’m not proud of.” Her arms trembled but she pulled herself back into the moment. She had to get through this. She owed it to him and to herself to.
“Like? I’m not exactly perfect either Devon and you know that.” She knew that because he’d told her and Jon knew his weaknesses even if he didn’t want to admit them. He knew.
“I’ve been alone for a long time Jon. You came walking into my life and breathed something back in me, something I thought I had lost forever.”
He turned back to face her and his eyes softened. “Believe it or not. I know what that’s like, but you’re not alone Devon. Look at the salon...and you have family.”
She shook her head and the tear slipped down her cheek. “No I don’t. They don’t want to know me and they have every right to. The things I’ve done are unforgivable and I miss them so much.”
He took a step closer but didn’t approach her. “Is that why you came here? To America?”
She nodded. “I left out of shame. I was my father’s shame.”
“What happened?”
“Jared happened. I can’t blame him it was my choice in the end. He didn’t approve. Jared wasn't the nicest person in the world but he made me feel like a million bucks and I stupidly fell into that trap that he loved me and he hated my father and always convinced me my father was just trying to control me and didn’t want to have a life. Little did I know that it was actually the other way around. Jared was jealous of my family and didn’t like that they’d do anything for me.”
“Men can be pretty convincing, especially when it comes to women.. That doesn’t seem like you though Devon, you have so much spirit.”
“I do now. I didn’t back then. I don’t even know how it happened when I look back and how I let it get so bad.”
“He was the policeman, right?”
“Yeah. The best actually, you’d have liked him a lot.”
“So that’s why I’m not getting the tour anytime soon huh? When was the last time you spoke to them?”
“Before I left for the United States.” It hurt just as much now as it did back then, if not more. Time healed only so much and there was only so many band-aids you could mend a broken heart with.
“Dev. God. Do they know where you are?”
She shook her head.
“Hell.” The worst part that she didn’t tell Jon is that they probably thought she was dead. She’d been listed as a missing person three days after she’d left New Zealand by boat.
“I don’t expect you to understand, I look at you and your family and see what we were and god.” She blinked the tears away as she looked up at the stars that were melting into the morning sky. “We were so like that.”
“Sure. I don’t understand as I wasn’t there but doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
“You shouldn’t. I’m a horrible person.”
He rested his coffee down on the table beside her and placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed gently. “You’re not. Things happen and we regret them. Doesn’t mean you can’t put things right.”
She shook her head. “I can’t Jon. Not yet. I’m not ready, I want to-but I’m not ready.”
“Shhh. Ok.” He kissed the top of her head. “You’re not alone Devon. I can’t promise you this will be forever, I don’t think anyone really can but I can promise you I really do want to be with you and want to make this work.”
She didn’t deserve such a wonderful proclamation but it made her heart swell. “That’s more than anyone has ever said so I’ll take it.”
His hand cupped her cheek. “It’s been a crazy couple of weeks hasn’t it.”
“Yup but still the best.” Her hands slid up his chest and rested on his shoulders. “I’m sorry Jon.”
“Don’t apologize. That’s quite the burden you’re carrying around with you there love. I could help you if you wanted to make amends.”
“No-I mean not yet. But thank you.”
“Thank you for telling me. I know it had to hurt to bring it all up.” His thumb scraped along her cheek and she felt just a little bit lighter.
“Only because you make me feel things I haven’t in years Jon.”
“Oh, so now I’m to blame?” He teased as their noses bumped and the familiar sparkle returned to his eyes.
“No, not at all. I love you.” She kissed him squarely on the lips and tasted a mouthful of wine and smoke.
“Gross. What the hell did you drink and smoke last night?”
He laughed and nodded towards the lounger where the empty glass sat next to the wine bottle and a full-ashtray. “Maybe I was a little over-indulgent last night.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Yeah I get pissy when I don’t get what I want and what I wanted last night after seeing you in that ridiculous dress.” He kissed her nose. “Was you.” He brushed a lock of her hair back and his thumb pad traced down her jaw.
He leaned in and his rough cheek brushed against hers and she sighed as his warmth was back. “I know. I did too.”
“You know, I’m excellent at something else too.”
“What’s that?” she asked fingering the hair at the bottom of his neck.
“Make-up sex.” He pulled back letting his hands run down her arms to her hands. “After a shower.”
“I’ll have to be the judge of that then. Go and have a shower home-boy. I can wait.”
He dragged her into him and he kissed her again. “What about work?”
“I’ve left Jonathan in charge-so hurry up before I change my mind.”
“Ah, my little control freak.”
She laughed and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Oh and by the way.” He pointed at her boots as he put one foot inside. “Cute boots.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Oh shut up. I didn’t care what I threw on, which is so not like me. See what you are doing to me?”
He winked and grinned wider. “Get into my bed woman. I’ll be five minutes.”
And then he was gone. She took a minute to take in the early morning of New York city before popping herself off the table. She’d put herself out there and shown him the most vulnerable part of her. It wasn’t all of her but some parts had to stay buried, for the good of everyone. Things were definitely starting off better than they had been in a long time.
